Ancient Heat is playing The Portland Mercury’s Holiday Office Party! No, we’re not just bragging, this event is actually an office-party-themed-party open to the public, with real office!
It’s at Branx Friday, December 19th at 8:00. 21+/$12 presale Tickets available here.
If you’re not yet convinced, here’s a letter from the boss. Note: attendance is MANDATORY
Attention all Portland employees:
It’s that time of year again! You are cordially invited (attendance is mandatory) to Portland’s Holiday Office Party (attendance mandatory).
In a hollow attempt by management to boost office morale, we will be providing the following entertainments suggested to us by highly paid human resource consultants:
1) Liquor and Beer
2) Rhythmic dancing to Ancient Heat and professional Disc Jockey set by DJ Evil One.
3) Live performance by the Portland Sugarplum Elves Choir
4) A “make-out” cubicle
5) Food things | Name tags | Team strengthening
6) Photo booth and a complimentary Xerox machine that can be used to photocopy one’s buttocks or genitalia (SUSAN! ASK HUMAN RESOURCES TO CHECK ON THE LEGALITY OF THIS-STAN)
7) Members of management getting embarrassingly drunk and dancing wildly with their neckties tied around their heads.
Semi-business attire encouraged. (Neckties and pantyhose a plus.) NEW! There will be an Ugly Tie/Horrible (Panty) Hose contest. Come dressed to impress/mortify.
Please enjoy this night of fun with your fellow Portland co-workers at the most enjoyable office party of the season! (Again, attendance is mandatory.)
Sincerely and best holiday wishes,